Yet to my memory I have never discussed using any sort of lotions or oils while doing so, except for the cupping part. I haven’t watched those videos in a while and am often surprised when I do, so I could be wrong.

And to my personal memory, I have a much much harder time getting into self-massage without it. Something about the smoothness of the surface lets me zone out and get out of thought, into more feeling.

Coming from a Thai massage background that didn’t use any oils probably made me averse to the idea. But working on someone else is very different from working on myself. I find lotion distracting and slippery when working on someone else, enabling when working on myself.

If you’re not too into diving into feeling and sensation yet, you still reap benefits from self-massage via lymph and fascia movement, fluid movement in general, electricity from your hands, self-awareness (there are ALWAYS surprises, every single time), and great rewards for the curious mover who might also engage and move a limb around after rubbing. What lotion does to enable all this is at least help you rub until the damn stuff is all rubbed in sufficiently. If you want to sit a little longer, just pour a little “too much” stuff on and you’ll practically be forced to. This is the “take your medicine” route in case it doesn’t sit in the pleasure sphere but you’re at least willing to admit it’s good for you. I get impatient working on myself in a way I don’t feel working on other people and this is one way to get over that barrier. It’s also not JUST rubbing it in on the surface if you go in with the intention to massage. The lotion can serve simply as a timer in itself for how long you’ll be doing it.

I fall on the “don’t put inedible things on your skin” side of granola hippie culture that seems very sane to me. Not that they all have to taste good, but still – diving into the cooking cupboards for olive oil, coconut oil, sesame oil, tallow, or duck fat are usually my first choices. They all have different properties and many websites are willing to tell those to you. Warming, cooling, having this or that benefit. Beef fat (tallow) is supposed to be the most bioavailable and readily usable. Just before writing this I used a CBD oil given to me by a friend, so the ingredients included love and friendship, which matters too. Not stressing about a choice is the best choice, while also tuning in to notice how you internally react to what you’re using and how readily your body takes it in. Your personal dosha (ayurveda) or constitution at the moment will dictate what you like, but really what you have on hand is good company toward building a knowing relationship with your body.

I am willing to bet that most people would get the best results by keeping their thinking minds out of it as much as possible. Some mix of what feels good and intuition will lead a person to the right spots and the ways to rub, pinch, squeeze, tap, or simply hang out in a spot for a while that they need. Zoning out is as beneficial as deep focus, though many are scared to admit it because it can feel like something else is doing the work through them – eery for some people. I welcome whatever it is helping me maintain this body while I’m here. However, I think you should stop when you’re tired of it, or bored, or done for any reason, and if the budget allows, go borrow someone else’s nervous system so you can fully relax.

At the ThinkMovement 2024 gathering I overheard Dawn (Bit By Bit Bodywork) tell the effervescent Colleen something about how when we were taking Dawn’s class we were channeling our experiences through her nervous system. I had never consciously thought of this before and it stuck with me to chew on later. Thinking of it in terms of community, it makes all the sense in the world. Trying to take on every responsibility and action and calming down on our own rather than moving it through a community of nervous systems is a unique quality of our age. I wish the skill of massage were practiced more outside professional paid settings, but achieving coregulation by borrowing someone else’s nervous system is a wondrous gift that should be taken advantage of and appreciated even when it is paid for.